


The Voice

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Altered Mental States, Blood, Hearing Voices, Knifeplay, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 06:43:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14743896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Hikaru had had just a couple of shots.Not enough to be drunk.For sure enough to lose control over himself, to let himself be guided only by the instinct and the Voice.





	The Voice

Hikaru wished he hadn’t thought about it so much.

He hadn't wanted for all this to happen.

But there was a voice in his head, talking restlessly, always ordering him to move his eyes, to find what he was looking for.

To take it, no matter the cost.

Yuya sat in front of him.

Hikaru had asked him over that night, after the shootings, to have dinner together and then, maybe, drink something.

_Chii’s out with his friends, I’ve got no plans. Why not?_

Chii.

Why not.

Hikaru had had to fight the Voice, asking him to hurt him.

And, for once, he had won.

Now the elder was drinking, filling glass after glass, while the level of the bottle of vodka they had taken out a little over an hour ago was dangerously falling.

Hikaru had had just a couple of shots.

Not enough to be drunk.

For sure enough to lose control over himself, to let himself be guided only by the instinct and the Voice.

 _Touch him_ he heard it say, and he could do nothing to resist.

He leant over, putting a hand on his arm.

The other looked at him, confused, but he did  nothing to stop him, probably not deeming it a contact dangerous enough to be afraid of it, or to predict there was some other meaning to it.

_More._

Hikaru got up, going next to the other man and brushing a hand over his face.

It was then that the elder started to look nervous.

“Hikka, what are you doing?” he asked, trying to keep his cool, as to not sound biased toward him.

The younger leant over him, letting their forehead press together and smiling.

_Kiss him._

He took a hold of the back of his head, pulling him closer and clashing their lips together, licking them, seeking for an access inside that mouth.

Takaki got up, unsteady on his own legs, and pushed him away.

“It’s better if I leave now.” he murmured, frowning and with a look that did nothing to hide the discomfort and anxiety he felt.

_He can’t leave. Stop him._

He grabbed his wrist, holding it tight, twisting it until the other was forced to turn toward him, in order to avoid it hurting more.

“Hikka... please, let me go.” he asked, mumbling a little.

The younger ignored him and got closer again, trying to kiss him a second time.

Again he was rejected, and there he lost his patience.

He hit one side of Yuya’s face, with all the strength he had in his body.

He saw him try to keep his balance, then propping himself up on the table to avoid falling onto the floor.

Hikaru was sure that under normal circumstances he would've never been able to overpower him.

Alcohol complicit, he knew his odds were better.

He slapped him again, briefly gazing at the blood at the corner of his mouth, then he grabbed a hold of his hair and started pulling him toward the bedroom.

The elder screamed, but he went along to try and loosen the hold.

Once into the room Hikaru pushed him on the bed, straddling him.

“Hikaru, let me go right now. You’re not yourself, can’t you see that? It’s me, it’s Yuuyan... what the hell are you trying to do?” he asked, his voice still unsteady, while he tried to keep him away with his arms.

_Tie him up._

The younger smiled and, holding the other’s wrists in one hand, he took off his belt, bringing it to the headrest and around his hands.

Then he tightened it, so much that the other screamed again.

“I know who you are, Yuuyan.” he murmured, softly running a fingertip down his face, staining it with the elder’s blood. “It’s you who doesn’t know who I am.” he said, leaning toward the nightstand, opening the drawer and taking a pair of scissors. He brushed them over Takaki’s face, for the sheer pleasure of seeing the horror on his face, then he accurately cut his shirt, bottom to top, on the sleeves, until the other’s chest was bared beneath him. He grabbed his nape, pulling him toward himself until there were mere millimetres between them.

“You don’t know who I am, do you? You can't see me, you _don’t want_ to see me. You’ve got your Chii-chan and you care about no one else, do you?” he hissed, clenching his teeth.

Then he took a deep breath. He moved away from his face, grabbing his hips and turning him face down to the mattress, twisting his wrists.

Yuya made a pained sound, but he didn’t care.

“You don’t want to see me?” he said then, straddling him and leaning over, his lips on the back of his neck. “Then don’t look at me.” he said, whispering.

He took his time, taking his clothes off of him and then freeing him from his pants and boxers, the only clothes left on him.

_He’s beautiful, isn’t he?_

Hikaru bit his lip, staring at Yuya, naked under him.

He ran a hand down his back, his spine, without tearing his eyes off of him.

The Voice was right.

He was so damn beautiful, and he was within reach now.

It didn’t matter that he was forced to be there, it didn’t matter that his eyes were close, clenched, that he wasn’t looking at him.

It wasn’t time for him to see him yet and, for now, it was enough that he was the one who was able to watch.

He brought his tongue where his hand had already traced a path, starting to lick him softly, biting him on a shoulder blade, tasting his skin, grabbing his hips, scratching.

His hand went to his legs, going up with his nails against his butt, barely brushing it.

He felt him shiver, and he smiled.

He got up again, that wide back looking like an open field for him to play freely; he alternated his lips to his tongue to his teeth, trying to cover all the spots, getting more turned on when he saw his marks on that skin, the traces of his passage on him.

Ignoring him wasn’t going to be so easy anymore.

Going back to his face, he viciously ran his tongue on his cheek, smiling.

He brought a finger to his lips, unable to tear his eyes off those features.

“You like it Yuuyan, don’t you?” he murmured, but he didn’t have time to say anything else that the elder uselessly tried to bite him, a furious look on his face.

“It makes me sick, Hikaru. You make me sick.” he snarled, without hiding the disgust on his face.

The other kept still for a moment, thoughtfully running his tongue over his lips.

_He’s just a whore, he’s got no right to tell you you make him sick. Make him regret what he’s said._

He was just a whore, a useless, unexceptional whore.

He could do whatever he pleased with him.

The Voice was right, the Voice was _always r_ ight.

He laid down on top of him, his hand back on his body, quickly running down between his legs, brushing his opening.

He felt incredibly pleased when he felt him flinch and starting to writhe in panic.

_Hurt him._

Fighting against the resistance of his body, he pushed two fingers inside of him, for the sheer pleasure of making him feel pain.

That pain he had inflicted upon him for years.

That pain his eyes had caused him, always going through him, never really seeing him.

That pain, that now from his hands went to the other’s body, that made him scream, struggle, making the belt tighter on his wrists, and Hikaru hoped that the marks were going to be deep enough.

He laid on his side, with a foot he forced him to open his legs, and kept moving his fingers inside, harsh, with no gentleness at all.

He went back licking his back, sure it was something he wasn’t going to ever get tired of.

He licked, bit, kissed, and at the same time he moved his hand, feeling that the elder’s moans where bringing him to his edge.

 _Enough games_ the Voice said, and he unconsciously nodded.

He pulled his fingers out, kneeling on the mattress next to his head.

He saw his eyes wet with tears, and it only made him feel better.

He liked the look of those tears, he liked all the pain they spoke of.

He liked that expression of hatred, because at least he was looking at him.

He grabbed his own cock, hard and wet, pressing it with an unreal tenderness against his lips.

“Open.” he said, arching an eyebrow, while Yuya clenched his mouth and shook his head.

Impatient, he leant over him, grabbing his hair and bringing his mouth close to his ear.

“It’s going to hurt even worse if you don’t.” he hissed, letting him go and getting back in position, waiting.

“You can still stop, Hikaru.” Takaki told him, his voice feeble. He had lost any confidence, any sense of rebellion, any will to fight him.

If he thought he was going to pity him, he had severely miscalculated.

_You could stop..._

“I could stop...”

_but I don’t think you will._

“But I don’t think I will.” he said, shrugging and pushing his cock inside the other’s mouth.

He saw him clench his eyes and try not to gag when he felt the head reach the back of his throat.

Hikaru didn’t mind, he didn’t care whether he chocked or not.

He only cared about his own arousal, about the feeling of that warm mouth around him, about the control he had over him.

He took his head in his hand, starting to lazily move his hips, without going too fast, or he knew it wasn’t going to last.

A little while later he pulled out and got back behind him, laying down, while his cock wet with the elder’s spit softly brushed his entrance.

“Scream, if you want.” he whispered in his ear, before thrusting inside, hard.

And Yuya did.

He screamed his pain, his humiliation, having lost any hope that Hikaru was actually going to stop.

He screamed at every thrust inside of him, until there was no air left in his lungs.

And then, exhausted, he just laid his head on the pillow, sobbing, letting the other use him.

And Hikaru didn’t need to be asked.

He pushed inside that scorching hot body restlessly, trying to get deeper and deeper, to let him feel it, to hurt him even more.

He was losing control, and he knew that.

_It’s too soon._

Hikaru leant down, biting on Yuya’s back once again, slowing down the pace of his hips against him.

He pulled out, feeling him tense for a moment, perhaps in the vague hope that it was over.

The younger moved temporarily away, forcing him to turn on his back.

That’s how he wanted to come.

Watching him and being watched.

He ran his hand down his neck, shivering for how beautiful Yuya looked right now, tied to his bed, in his complete power, tears wetting his tired face.

He got between his legs, bringing one of them around his hip and entering him again.

He took his face, scratching his cheek, forcing him to open his eyes.

“See me, Yuya... see me now.” he murmured.

_Now._

He came inside of him, chocking a scream, tightening the hand on his face, bringing his mouth to his neck and biting.

He kept still for a while then, panting.

He opened his eyes, fixating them on Yuya’s.

He smiled.

Then he moved away, snuggling against his body as if they were lovers, as if he hadn't just taken him against his will.

Yuya didn’t say anything, by now completely done for.

_You love him, don’t you?_

“I love you, Yuya.” he murmured, pressing a kiss on his lips, ignoring the disgust on the other’s face.

He stood up, staring at that body that had just been his.

 _He’s never going to be yours_ the Voice said, timely and cruel as usual, but he just shook his head, because he didn’t need it to remind him of that.

“Let me go, Hikaru.” Takaki begged, whispering.

The younger kept looking at him for a while, then he sighed and turned his back on him, grabbing a packet of cigarettes abandoned on the nightstand and heading toward the French door.

He got out on the small balcony facing the street.

He breathed in the fresh air deeply.

Then he lit a cigarette up, leaning against the railing and starting to take hits off of it, distractedly.

_You liked it, didn’t you?_

He had.

_Yuya is going to hate you for the rest of his life, do you know that?_

He knew.

_It’s sad, isn’t it?_

It was incredibly sad, but he couldn’t go back, nor he wanted to.

_It makes no sense to be in this world anymore, are you aware of that?_

He wished he could’ve said he wasn’t, but the Voice always knew it when he was lying.

He straightened himself up, resting his feet on the spaces between the bars of the railing.

He closed his eyes, imagining one last time Yuya, his back, his body.

His eyes, fixated on his own.

He turned, gazing the the trembling shape on his bed, and he looked at those eyes again.

_Do it._

He turned. He fell. And then his mind could rest.

The Voice, finally, was quiet.


End file.
